I wrote about a week ago about how I can be a little lax on maintaining relationships (https://thej85.wordpress.com/2012/03/29/its-funny-how-things-work-out/). I am not going to recant and say that I was wrong, but I realized that I actually currently do have more than one close friend here and one in the town I grew up in. I just have never lost contact with one of them to have a conversation to pick up again months later.
This friend started out as my boys’ babysitter (at my last job, flexibility just was not available). She quickly became a member of the family. Her birthday is added to our family calendar just like everyone else’s (it was actually just a couple days ago).
With the two jobs I am working now, I no longer need a babysitter. While she may not be in this role anymore, she is no less a member of our family. She still got a happy birthday from each of us, she is still welcome in our home any time, she is still the person the boys run to when they get out of school in the afternoon (even when Mom is there to get them), and she is still the one I look around for at the school to brag/rant/worry over my day at work.
I very rarely get off work at one of my jobs (the one NOT at the school) on time. This does not worry me, she is always there, in the schoolyard, when T is dismissed. She is no longer L and T’s babysitter, but this does not stop her from watching out for them. I received a text message on my break today informing me that this is about to change.
She is going through something at home right now. This is seriously stressing her out and has caused her to have to make some pretty big decisions pretty fast. She has decided that she is not going to be providing childcare anymore. This means that she will not be on the school grounds at dismissal time anymore.
There have already been arrangements made for if I am not on the school grounds at dismissal time, but it is just not the same. T will not be able to run up to her and give her a daily play-by-play of what is happening in his game. L will not be able to head to her “spot” on the playground and beg an extra few minutes of playground time out of her. There will be people there that they can do this with, but it will not be her.
I have explained the very basics of the situation to the boys, (she is going through a tough time, she will not be at the school anymore, etc) but I don’t think this has really hit them yet. I’m sure it will be a big adjustment for them.
This will be a big adjustment for me too. In order for me to use her as a sounding board or just for us to have a chat, we will need to call/text and/or make arrangements to meet up. But most of all, I will miss just seeing her face every day. It will be a big change.
These things are nothing compared to the stresses and changes that she is facing though. The hardest part of all of this is seeing her go through these difficulties. She had been in my thoughts all day, as I am sure she will be moving forward. I feel like I should DO something, but there is nothing I can do more than being here for her.
After I left work today, before heading to the school, I stopped by her place because I felt she would at least need a hug. She did, and I was so glad I was able to do that for her. The boys would like to give her a hug too, but due to current circumstances, that will have to wait a day or two. I know that she needs this from then as well.
Over the next day or two, she will have some “we love you” cards made for her. I am hoping this will help too. She will probably be hitting a point very soon where she doesn’t want to be home, so I have extended an open invitation to my home as well. I hope she takes me up on that.
The reason for my title is that she has mentioned the possibility of moving once things get sorted out. If this is the best thing for her at that stage, than I won’t argue with her over it, but that won’t stop us from missing her. She is not gone yet, she has not made a decision to leave, she may not end up going anywhere, but just the mention of this as a possibility made me miss her. She’s not gone, but I didn’t realize what I had until the idea of her being gone was there.
C, if you’re reading this, we love you, we’re thinking of you, we wish the best through this tough time and always. If you end up making the decision to leave, we need to come up with a plan on how we’re going to keep in touch. We don’t want to see you totally gone. *HUGS*
No matter how dark the day, the sun is always shining somewhere!