Something I have never understood is the phrase “settle down and start a family”. Maybe I don’t understand this because I jumped right from being a teenager into having my own children. Whatever the reason, my life is anything but “settled” with the kids.
I just don’t get how being (single and) kidless can be any crazier than life with children. Yes, there could be wild parties and/or stupid stunts, but at the end of those days, going home to a quiet environment where the only mess is your own that you neglected to clean up, is a very real possibility. The only meetings to attend are for your job, the only appointments you need to attend are for yourself, the only thing keeping you up all night is you (or maybe noisy neighbours), the only “surprises” you find while cleaning your home are things you had forgotten about.
Yesterday I began filling in the things that need to be done in May on my Christmas Daddies calendar. It looks like the Sharpies exploded onto the oversized date squares. There are appointments, meetings, sports practices, sports events and fundraisers filling almost every square. Without the kids, only two of those squares would be written in.
My life is crazier on a day-to-day basis than I can ever imagine it being without the kids too. A “lazy day” with kids is still busy. Sure, we might stay in our jammies, but there are still daily chores that need to be done no matter what day it is. There are meals to prepare, dishes to do, (depending on the age) diapers to change, medicine and routine schedules to keep. Not to mention that the role of referee is a full-time, 24/7, non-negotiable job.
A lazy day without children would be totally different. There would be the opportunity to be truly lazy, something every full-time parent out there only dreams of. Sleeping in, minimal dishes and meal preparation, no diapers (unless you’re REALLY lazy), and the only schedule to keep is your own. And that refereeing? Only necessary to keep the voices in your head from arguing.
For me, I see “settling down” as something to happen once the kids are grown. My calendar will be less colorful and most of my time will be filled with my full-time job. My days off from work will be spent according to my schedule and not one determined by little ones. I will be crazy busy, on the go, and unsettled until that time.
Once it is time to settle down though, maybe I’ll throw in a couple of those wild parties and crazy stunts than too! After all, I will only be in my thirties….
No matter how dark the day, the sun is always shining somewhere!