For those of you who have not seen the Application for Permission to Date My Daughter, you can see it here. Now, you all know I don’t have a daughter, so, obviously the “application” cannot be submitted here. I would, however, like to talk about my thoughts on this viral document on Facebook and the web. There are a number of different versions of this going around, so for simplicities sake, let’s talk about this one.
Now, I, as a person with a few working brain cells, realize this was written as a joke. Not everyone does though, so let’s talk about it as if it’s a serious document that young men, potential boyfriends, all over the world (or at least the US judging by the wording) are being forced to endure. I am assuming only applications from males will be considered because, well, you’ll see. There are HUGE issues with this form. I’m going to talk about these in list form from the beginning of the document to the end so as to avoid missing anything.
-Finacial statement/Job history
To me, if this information applies, either this young man is WAY too old to be dating your daughter OR your daughter is WAY too old for you to be screening her potential dates -Lineage
Whether this young person’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great (you get the picture) grandfather was a native gatherer or one of the British social elite really makes THAT much of a difference? What if his grandmother was adopted, tracing lineage can get kind of tricky when that kind of thing comes into play. -Current medical report
A full medical report? Really? I can see, maybe, your daughter wanting an STD report if they are planning on being in a serious relationship, but it’s none of YOUR business. Likewise, if this young man has a serious illness (such as cancer) that is not a valid reason why your daughter cannot date him, it doesn’t change who he is. -Name, Date of birth, Height, Weight
You haven’t even met this guy? Why/how are you even subjecting him to this? I would think this stuff would be something you could ask him/figure out for yourself when you meet him. -IQ/GPA
Okay, I can see you wanting to make sure this guy has a brain. Ever try talking to him? Remember, not everyone is “book smart” -Social Security number/Driver’s License number
Running a background check or just looking for an outstanding warrant? -Boy scout rank and badges
All boys need to be in boy scouts? There is no other way for them to learn the value of being prepared or hard work? -Home address, city/state, zip code
And we’re back to the background check…
-Do you have parents
No, he grew to be old enough to date without anybody actually raising him -Is one male and the other female?, if no explain
Really? I mean, seriously THAT makes a difference? Why would a guy raised in a heterosexual home be any better suited for your daughter than one raised by an unconventional family or by an entire village? The better question would be “were you raised in a home that encouraged love.” Anyone who was shouldn’t need to explain why their home didn’t have one mom and one dad. This is the only question on this application that actually pissed me off (even though I know the whole thing is a joke, THAT has no place/bearing on this). BTW, this is the question that made me assume only male applicants would be considered -Number of years they have been married. If less than your age, explain
Best guess? They had sex before I was born, or at least mom did. I don’t know…I wasn’t there
-A thru D
Yeah, okay. All valid questions
He did something stupid and actually got away with it. Dumb action, but took brains to accomplish -F
Refer to name, date of birth, etc. Also, does it really matter? They are easily removed -If you answered “yes”…
Well, that’s just funny
Well, that’s all valid too
-Church attendance isn’t the only way to demonstrate belief no matter what religion -Wouldn’t it be easier to just call their parents?
SHORT ANSWER SECTION
Ummm, that answer is kinda obvious, though I guess head and heart could be nice alternatives -B
Can’t see the relevance in that one
If he doesn’t have an acceptable answer here, your daughter shouldn’t be interested anyways -D, E, F & F
Valid, though I have to ask, you wanted to know HIS IQ? I say if he calls you out on your ABCs it should earn an automatic “approved” stamp
-Four to six years, that’s great!
-Parent, there is no reason to insult (yet)
-Parent, you may want to be a little more careful about advertising your mob ties
As I stated earlier, this application is a joke. Due to that fact, obviously not all my answers are 100% serious. Some are just sarcastic. I do not mean to offend anyone by the comments made above.
I would like to hear your thoughts on this document though. If it was seriously being used, what would your reaction to seeing it be? Would you use it to screen your own daughter’s potential dates? What tweaks would you make?
Myself, I’ll stick with TALKING to potential dates for my boys when they begin dating. They ultimately get to choose who they date though….
No matter how dark the day, the sun is always shining somewhere!